i’m growing up.. emotionally that is.. what does that lead to? understanding that people are not what they seem to be . that it is possible that a friend I consider close is playing me. that how much ever i try to be nice, someone has to just spoil it. that until i come to terms with who/what/how i am and want to be. i am not going to be able to survive. its a nasty world out there and not many are going to be what I expect them to be or like me in nature.
no one but me will stand up for me. unless i decide to stick it out, well…. i’ll be lost in the crowd. there is no point in trying to be what i am not. there is no point in wanting to fit into what i will never be. If i am not perceived as something today, it hardly matters tomorrow.
for all i care, its i me myself out there. and playing is what someone i trusted all along wants to do, then there is no point in losing sleep and precious tears over that.
there is a saying that a woman’s tear is very powerful. i do not wish to waste it on unnecessary matters anymore.. (of course that is going to take a lot of effort .. but i believe in myself)
Nice thought.. and much in a flow to be called a confusion..